Damsel in Distress

I feel kinda pissed off right now...

And apparently I'm blogging to feel better... after venting it all out you know :P

So yeaaaaaaaahhhh.... I'm not studying aj kal the way I ought to... or the way i used to... whichever sounds worse. =|

And I'm falling sick.... feeling cranky, losing patience and feeling depressed.... Tell me what to do.... How to get myself back on track.......................

Sincere advice needed... =]

Adios amigos!

Against All Odds, I Will Survive.

She lost her hair, she lost her confidence. She lost her husband, she lost her support. Yet she didn’t lose hope. ‘ I will survive’ was the mantra she kept on chanting, when all others who knew her knew she just had a few more weeks. Her doctors had stopped trying. To them, she was a lost cause. They thought it was wastage of valuable time and resources to carry on with her treatment, which wasn’t getting her any better. Her husband thought she was more trouble than she was worth and left her on her own. And yet she didn’t lose hope.

She was in the throes of the end stages of chronic lymphocytic leukemia. And she had less than a month to live. But she was putting up every form of resistance she could muster because she knew there was more to life than she had experienced. At twenty- seven, she was too young to die. There were lots of things she hadn’t experienced yet. Like the joys of motherhood, like living the life of an independent woman. But the doctors had already started counting her days. And with everyday she lived, she received a new blow on her consciousness, trying to arouse her from the false sense of well being she seemed to be in.

“I will survive”, she answered plainly to any one who asked her how she felt about her impending death. She still believed that, even when she contracted graft versus host disease after her bone marrow transplant. It was as if her body was rebelling against the very notion she was striving for. Her health was waning, but her spirit was not.

And then her body couldn’t take it anymore. It was battered and broken beyond repair, but her soul was as resilient as ever. Her friends told her she was being unjust to herself. She shouldn’t keep her hopes so high, ready to be dashed by the slightest miscalculation. And after going into relapse after relapse, she should know better than to pin her hopes on the unlikely. The doctors gave her a week. Maximum. They said anything beyond that would be a miracle.

She lived. For three more years. Long enough to prove her doctors, and her fellow patients and friends, wrong. And when she died she did so with a smile on her face and a gloating voice, proclaiming, “I told you I had more time. In the true sense of the word, I have survived.”

Gothic Encounter

Mia says: Im obsesed with blood. Its crazy. And weird. Seeing that the sight of it makes me cry. Bt its one of my fascinations. =/

Khadeeja says: K. Ahan, seein ur post, i cud tel. Yuck, id rather faint.

Mia says: Guess thats the goth in me =P

Khadeeja says: U wud be a vampire in ur second lyf.... *ponders* and id lyk to be a were-wolf.

Mia says: Eee we got a twilight thng goin here *groans* leave that for fiction girl.

Khadeeja says: Not fiction, but second lyf. N twilight does the least to influence me. Huh.

N m very scared of this goth in you. *hides face n runs away*

Mia says: I be gentle goth *puppy dog face*

Khadeeja says: Awwee, okay. *face lits up*

Mia says: *toothy smile**fangs slide out* bt i still love blood. Muhahaha

Khadeeja says: Mammaaaa! *eyes wide open*

Mia says: *eyes go red* be afraid. Be verry verry afraid

Khadeeja says: Bad, bad goth! *tears in eyes*

Mia says: I prefer male blood *winks*

Khadeeja says: Ohh. *deep sign of relief* lets be friends then goth, u can do me no harm.

*End Of Conversation*

Music That Tore In His Mind An Old Wound Open

Turning on the radio
He sat back to relax
But relaxation was one of the things
He wasn't meant to have.

The music didn't let him rest
instead it tore open
an old wound in his mind
about which he had never spoken.

The melodious tuneful music
was discordant to his ears,
Incurring terrible memories
of previous, by- gone years.

Every single word sung
made him remember the days
when their diminishing love
had led to parting o the ways.

She had told him that she loved him.
He told her, he loved her too.
But in his heart he knew it;
what she said was just not true.

There had been a time when they
couldn't live without each other.
But now the very thought of the past
made his body shudder.

The way the door had banged that day
was still ringing in his ears.
And even though he tried,
somehow he couldn't stop the tears.

The Exploding Shadows

Royal purple bruises marked the horizon. The sun, the bulbous bulk of luminosity, strained to come out of the restraining shadows. I stood, alone with my thoughts, on a teetering ledge at the edge of a cliff. The rage of the sea pounded against the rocky terrain below. The white foam on the surface concocted pictures of a rabid dog in the dark crevices of my mind. I waited. A seemingly endless wait to experience the victory of light over darkness, a sign of freedom from the gloom and despair that enshrouded me. And then the sun was set free, its brightness brandishing a sword at the demons of the night. And I smiled, an involuntary relaxation, as I witnessed the exploding shadows.

broken smile;

empty eyes,

empty minds,

empty souls.

broken dreams;

empty hearts,

empty hopes,

empty faith.

broken and empty;

loves,

lives,

humans.

ruins of mankind

restoration impossible.